Our Mission
Nihilistic Horoscopes emerged from the profound realization that traditional astrology sugar-coats the meaninglessness of existence. We dedicate ourselves to delivering brutally honest celestial readings that remind you of your cosmic insignificance while still somehow managing to be oddly specific about your personality flaws.
Why This Project Matters (yeah, yeah, we know, the irony... blah, blah, blah)
While others read the stars seeking hope and guidance, we read them to confirm what we already know: that all human endeavors are ultimately pointless in an indifferent universe. Our horoscopes combine the ancient art of astrology with the crushing weight of existential dread.
Each reading is carefully crafted to strip away the comforting illusions of meaning, revealing the void that lurks beneath all human achievement and aspiration. We believe that true freedom comes from embracing the absurdity of seeking meaning in celestial bodies while acknowledging the fundamental meaninglessness of everything.
Our Team
Our astrologists are highly trained in both classical astrology and existential philosophy. Each has spent years staring intothe abyssuntil the abyss stared back, giving them unique insights into the futility of human existence as reflected in planetary movements.
We also employ a team of professional pessimists who ensure that no trace of hope accidentally slips into our readings. Our quality control department works tirelessly to maintain our high standards of despair and disillusionment.