Behold, your comprehensive guide to the next 365.25 days of cosmic indifference. Because nothing says "I've given up on rational decision-making" quite like planning your entire year based on celestial bodies that couldn't care less about your existence.
(Or don't. The universe doesn't care either way.)
Note: This forecast was generated by an AI trained on a dataset of fortune cookies, magic 8-ball responses, and existential philosophy textbooks. Accuracy may vary from completely wrong to accidentally right.
© 2024 Nihilistic Horoscopes and $1.298 might get you some coffee... if someone goes in on it with you...