NIHILISTIC HOROSCOPES
The Grand Trine
What is a Grand Trine?
A Grand Trine occurs when three planets form an equilateral triangle in the sky, each approximately 120° apart. Traditional astrology considers this a highly fortunate aspect pattern, which is your first clue that it's actually a cosmic practical joke.
The False Promise
The Grand Trine creates an illusion of perfect harmony and flow, lulling you into a false sense of security. It's the universe's way of setting you up for a spectacular fall.
Elemental Grand Trines
Grand Trines often occur in signs of the same element, creating specific flavors of existential crisis:
Fire Grand Trine
Excessive confidence leading to inevitable humiliation
Earth Grand Trine
Material comfort that only highlights spiritual emptiness
Air Grand Trine
Mental gymnastics that lead nowhere meaningful
Water Grand Trine
Emotional depth that drowns all rational thought
— Modern Nihilistic Astrologer
Interpreting Your Grand Trine
If you have a Grand Trine in your natal chart:
- Congratulations on your cosmic curse of complacency
- Enjoy the path of least resistance that leads straight to mediocrity
- Watch as your natural talents become the very thing that holds you back
- Marvel at how easily things come to you, until they suddenly don't