The Grand Delusion
Neptune, the eighth planet from the sun, named after the Roman god of the seas, represents the ultimate cosmic joke: a gas giant masquerading as an ocean world, much like your own delusions of depth and meaning.
Planetary Characteristics
Physical Nature
A ball of frozen gases pretending to be blue, much like your pretense of having a coherent personality
Orbital Period
165 Earth years - long enough to witness countless cycles of meaningless human endeavors
Retrograde Rotation
Spins backward compared to most planets, like your perpetual regression despite claims of progress
Astrological Significance
Modern ruler of Pisces ♓, Neptune governs:
- Dreams (that will never materialize)
- Spirituality (elaborate coping mechanisms)
- Intuition (glorified pattern recognition gone wrong)
- Creativity (desperate attempts to leave a mark in the void)
- Escapism (your primary survival strategy)
Neptunian Influence
When Neptune is prominent in your chart, you may experience:
- Enhanced ability to deceive yourself about life's inherent meaninglessness
- Profound spiritual insights that dissolve like morning mist under scrutiny
- Artistic inspiration born from the futile desire to transcend mortality
- A talent for seeing patterns in chaos, missing the point that chaos is all there is
The Void Speaks
Neptune's message is clear: your search for meaning is itself meaningless. Like its storms that rage in its atmosphere, your spiritual quests and artistic endeavors are just temporary disturbances in the cosmic void.