Cosmic rulers of arbitrary celestial territories, assigning meaning to meaninglessness
Traditional meaning: Identity, ego, life force
A reminder that you're one of billions orbiting an average star that will eventually consume everything you love in its death throes.
Rules:
Leo ♌︎
Domain of false pride and desperate need for attention in an indifferent universe.
Traditional meaning: Emotions, subconscious, nurturing
A dead rock reflecting borrowed light, much like your borrowed sense of purpose.
Rules:
Cancer ♋︎
Domain of emotional dependency and cyclical mood swings that mean nothing.
Traditional meaning: Communication, intellect
Your thoughts are as fleeting as Mercury's 88-day orbit around the sun. Nothing you say will echo through eternity.
Rules:
Gemini ♊︎ and Virgo ♍︎
Domain of overthinking and obsessive analysis of the ultimately meaningless.
Traditional meaning: Love, beauty, harmony
A toxic hellscape masked by beautiful clouds. Much like your relationships.
Rules:
Taurus ♉︎ and Libra ♎︎
Domain of superficial pleasures and the illusion of balance in chaos.
Traditional meaning: Action, desire, aggression
Once thought to harbor life, now known to be a dead wasteland. Your ambitions will meet a similar fate.
Rules:
Aries ♈︎ and Scorpio ♏︎
Domain of pointless aggression and self-destructive impulses.
Traditional meaning: Expansion, wisdom, fortune
The largest planet, yet still insignificant in the cosmic scale. Size doesn't matter when nothing matters.
Rules: Sagittarius ♐︎ and Pisces ♓︎
Domain of false optimism and philosophical delusions.
Traditional meaning: Limitation, responsibility, time
Its rings are temporary, just like everything else. They'll be gone in a few million years. Tick tock.
Rules:
Capricorn ♑︎ and Aquarius ♒︎
Domain of crushing responsibility and the weight of temporal existence.
Traditional meaning: Innovation, rebellion, awakening
Tilted on its side, forever rolling through space. Your revolutionary ideas are equally directionless.
Modern ruler of:
Aquarius ♒︎
Domain of misguided rebellion against cosmic indifference.
Traditional meaning: Dreams, spirituality, illusion
Named after the god of the seas, yet composed of frozen gases. Your spiritual beliefs are similarly baseless.
Modern ruler of:
Pisces ♓︎
Domain of escapism and self-deception in the face of reality.
Traditional meaning: Transformation, power, death
Not even considered a planet anymore. Everything you identify with can be reclassified into meaninglessness.
Modern ruler of:
Scorpio ♏︎
Domain of inevitable destruction and futile power struggles.