Mars Retrograde
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Current Status: Retrograde until Feb 24, 2025
"When Mars moves backwards, your already futile attempts at progress become even more meaningless."
What is Mars Retrograde?
Mars retrograde is a cosmic illusion where the planet appears to move backwards in the sky, much like your life goals moving further away despite your best efforts. This occurs approximately every two years and lasts about 2.5 months.
Effects During Mars Retrograde
- Your already depleted energy levels reach new lows
- Starting new projects becomes even more pointless than usual
- Physical activities reveal the futility of self-improvement
- Aggression turns inward, where it probably belonged anyway
- Career aspirations expose themselves as elaborate self-deceptions
Warning: During Mars retrograde, even your coping mechanisms may fail you
Nihilistic Survival Guide
1. Accept that your decreased motivation is actually your natural state
2. Embrace the pointlessness of action
3. Remember that moving backward is still movement, albeit equally meaningless
4. Use this time to contemplate why you bother trying at all
5. Consider that your usual determination might be the real delusion
Historical Perspective
Ancient astrologers viewed Mars retrograde as a time of warriors turning inward. Modern nihilists recognize it as yet another cosmic reminder of life's inherent absurdity.