Nihilistic Horoscopes

Saturn Retrograde

Currently Direct
Next Retrograde: July 13, 2025 in ♈︎

"When Saturn goes retrograde, your existential dread takes a vacation... to visit even deeper existential dread."

What it Means

Saturn, the planet of restrictions, limitations, and crushing reality, appears to move backwards, forcing you to revisit all the responsibilities you've been avoiding. It's like a cosmic audit of your life's disappointments.

Primary Effects

Current Retrograde Timeline

Pre-Shadow: April 6, 2025, at 25° Pisces 09′

Begin feeling the weight of impending doom

Retrograde Begins: July 13, 2025 at 1° Aries 56′ Rx

Full descent into structured chaos begins

Retrograde Ends:November 27, 2025, at 25° Pisces 09’

Return to regular, non-retrograde existential dread

Post-Shadow: March 2, 2026, at 1° Aries 56′

Lingering effects of structured despair fade

Survival Strategies

"Saturn retrograde is like having a performance review with the universe, except the universe already decided you failed."

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