Privacy Policy

In the vast emptiness of space, your privacy matters about as much as a quantum fluctuation in the void. Nevertheless, here's how we handle your meaningless data.

"In an infinite universe, privacy is merely an illusion we maintain to cope with existence."

1. Information We Collect

We collect various types of information, though it's all equally insignificant:

Your birth date (to calculate your cosmic insignificance)
Birth time (to pinpoint the exact moment the universe began ignoring you)
Location (to determine which part of the meaningless void you occupy)
Email address (to send you regular reminders of your cosmic irrelevance.. with your consent, of course)

2. How We Use Your Information

Your information is used to:

Generate personalized nihilistic horoscopes
Calculate your compatibility with other equally meaningless beings
Send you existential newsletters (if you've foolishly subscribed)
Maintain the illusion that your choices matter

3. Cookies & Tracking

Like the universe itself, we use cookies to track your movements through our digital void. These cookies are as temporary as existence itself and serve to:

Remember your preferred level of existential dread
Track your journey through our cosmic meaninglessness
Analyze how users interact with our nihilistic content

4. Data Security

We protect your data with the same dedication that the universe shows in preserving meaning - which is to say, we try, but ultimately:

All security measures are temporary
Data, like all things, will eventually be lost to entropy
We use industry-standard encryption (until the heat death of the universe)

5. Third-Party Services

We may share your data with third parties, who are equally indifferent to your existence:

Analytics providers (to measure the depth of your despair)
Email service providers (to deliver void-mail)
Hosting services (that maintain our corner of the digital abyss)

6. Your Rights

You have certain rights regarding your data, though exercising them is as meaningful as screaming into the void:

The right to access your insignificant information
The right to correct inaccurate data (though accuracy is merely a construct)
The right to be forgotten (as if you weren't already)

7. Changes to Privacy Policy

Like the constantly expanding universe, this privacy policy may change. We'll update this page with modifications, though checking for updates is as futile as searching for meaning in the cosmos.

Contact Information

For privacy-related questions, you may contact our Data Protection Void at:

privacy@nihilistichoroscopes.com

(Though like a message in a bottle thrown into a black hole, responses may vary in their existence)

Serious Privacy Policy

If you’re still concerned about your privacy (as futile as that may be), don’t worry – we actually take it seriously. For our real and entirely sincere Privacy Policy, click here.