Nihilistic Horoscopes

Planetary Transits

The Eternal Dance of Futility

Planetary transits: the cosmic mockery of our existence, where celestial bodies dance their predetermined paths, completely indifferent to our microscopic struggles.

"The planets continue their mindless orbits, while we desperately seek meaning in their movements. How fitting."

Understanding Transit Impacts

Personal Planets (Mercury, Venus, Mars)

These swift-moving harbingers of false hope create the illusion of daily meaning. Mercury controls your futile attempts at communication, Venus governs your doomed relationships, and Mars fuels your pointless ambitions.

Social Planets (Jupiter, Saturn)

Jupiter expands your delusions of grandeur while Saturn crushes them with cold reality. Their dance is a cosmic joke spanning decades of your insignificant existence.

Outer Planets (Uranus, Neptune, Pluto)

So slow in their movements that entire generations share the same celestial burdens. Your personal connection to them is as meaningful as a grain of sand's relationship to the ocean.

Transit Cycles

Each planetary return (i.e. Saturn) marks another completed circle of meaninglessness The universe continues its indifferent rotation, whether you learn its lessons or not - and you won't.

Transit Examples

If for some reason you would like to know what today's meaningless transits are, you can find out here.