Nihilistic Horoscopes

Outer Planets: The Distant Architects of Despair

Uranus: The Great Disruptor

Orbital Period: 84 Years

Takes an entire human lifetime to complete one meaningless revolution

Keywords

Rebellion, Chaos, Sudden Change, Revolutionary Despair

"Uranus brings sudden changes that remind you nothing is permanent, except impermanence itself."

Neptune: The Great Deceiver

Orbital Period: 165 Years

Spreads illusions across multiple generations

Keywords

Delusion, Confusion, Dreams, Existential Fog

"Neptune shows you beautiful dreams, then reminds you they're just dreams."

Pluto: The Destroyer of Worlds

Orbital Period: 248 Years

Reminds entire civilizations of their temporary nature

Keywords

Death, Transformation, Power, Inevitable Destruction

"Like its planetary status, everything Pluto touches becomes questionable and ultimately meaningless."

Retrograde Periods: When Planets Pretend to Move Backwards

The outer planets spend roughly 40% of their time in retrograde motion, creating an illusion of backwards movement that mirrors the backwards progress of human civilization.